I was just wondering... is it better to forget things in life? There are some things that part of me wants to forget, and that another part of me really doesn't want to. It's just... I kinda think that I want to think about these things, but it's much nicer and easier and happier to not thing about them and just to have fun with friends and things, which I can do at the moment and it's actually quite nice. There's just this niggling and I don't want it to be there any more... I've put up with it for quite a while. But part of me (I'm never wholehearted any more, am I?) wants it there. I really can't explain it.
I also really hate losing friends. I know it's inevitable, but I really hate it. Sometimes there are friends that you don't want to lose but it just happens and no one's really that bothered. But sometimes you really really don't want it to happen and you try to stop it and it happens anyway, especially if the aforementioned friend doesn't really seem to care. It happened a few months ago, and it really upset me at the time... And it may be happening again, but probably even worse... I dunno. I just don't want it to happen cos it kinda sucks. And uni and things means that it'll probably happen BIG TIME from about July onwards. I just... I dunno. It kinda depresses me when my friends say that they've "had enough" of school now or that they're ready to move on, because I'm not. In any way. I really want to keep all the friends I have now. I may even have spoken about this in a previous post, but I don't really care...
In other news, I have my first exam tomorrow. S2. Should be alright. Then General Studies on Thursday, and M2 next Thursday. Woooooo...
(Haha, that last word was the only one that came up on the spellcheck. And now "haha". Twice.)
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3 comments:
Good luck tomorrow then!!! I'm sure it'll be good! (from what you've told me, S2 actually sounds rather interesting...)
It surprises me that an intelligent fellow like yourself would actually think that people saying they are ready to leave school and move on actually has ANYTHING to do with being ready to leave all their friends behind.
No one is looking forward to that part of the end of school, no one wants to give up the friends they have. But that doesn't mean they can't feel that now is the right time to move on from school itself. we've been doing this for 13 years, i think people are just realising that that's quite enough. Myself included.
i didn't mean that. i just meant that they were related, which they are. i just meant that i am not ready to move on, and i haven't had enough.
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